I worked my last shift on Saturday - complete with a 28 year old drug addicted man who fell while jumping down some stairs and broke his ankle in 2 places - and nothing could 'touch' his pain - a 25 year old law student who was scared and brave, admitted with a small bowel obstruction, young, blond, shivering in the bed, wishing she was anywhere but here - a 51 year old guy who looked 72 with no teeth, grey hair and recovering from a hip replacement with a crit that, even with 3 units of blood - wouldn't creep above 28 - and a handful of others, in and out, in pain and out of it- admitted and discharged.
It was such a strange feeling to walk out at 7:30, running to meet caleb for a delicious dinner and movie. Everything seemed so normal - but also so disorienting, knowing that I would never work there again. I finished a chapter after I had started the next book, reminding me of the multiple stories that weave throughout a life, and how new doors open and close continuously, and nothing is ever done really, but just is added into the ever expanding record - our own sort of chart.
So too do I go and come. I just drove back from Cambridge to New Haven after a wonderful three weeks away. A new chapter is starting tomorrow. Second semester. Monday starts at 9 and goes 'till 7:30. A brutal amount of sitting and listening, in my opinion. And while last semester was in a midwifery program, tomorrow is the start of learning to be a midwife. We will be focusing on IP (intrapartum - labor and delivery) and AP (antepartum - pre-natal care) throught out the next 4 months. Clinical will start in a few weeks, and I will finally catch babies, assist with breastfeeding, hold hands, wipe sweat, and memorize, memorize, memorize. This is a chapter, that while seemingly is beginning tomorrow, actually began years ago - perhaps even 28.
A funny moment from today, below. A flat. As if I needed another excuse not to leave Cambridge.
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