Thursday, June 19, 2008

Kindness

I had written a whole entry in my head after a long day of observing at the Hospital on Tuesday - but when I got to the office today - my Macintosh died. Now computerless, and feeling disoriented, I write at the end of the day from an internet cafe.

Tuesday I piloted my new and beautiful data-collection tools. I observed a hand full of births - and interviewed the midwives briefly. The births were mind-boggling in their routine-ness. The women delivering at the hospital were not treated at all as if this was a special day. On the contrary, they were treated as if they were doing something rather gross and animalistic. The woman deliver on flat beds (all on their backs - they are lucky to have a metal bar on which they can rest their head while they push. There are no sheets. women bring their own fabric - and if there is none, well, it's black-garbage-bag plastic to lay on.

But the surprise - or the noticeable component - was not the lack of resources. I expected that. It was the unkindness with which some of the midwives treated their patients. One, when seeing his patient grunting to push, scolded her and made her cross her legs until he had time to catch the baby. When he did come back, about 10 minutes later, he started waving his scissors about - near her perineum saying "If you do not push this baby out in 10 minutes I will CUT you (snip snip with the scissors) - or you baby will die...."

Luckily, she did. While she was pushing, however, he didn't like the effectiveness of each push and grabbed her lips and held them tight - in a mix of Nyanja (the local dialect here) and English- he said something all to easy to understand "Enough with the drama, drama, drama! Push with your mouth closed."

I used my new learned midwifery skill of biting my tongue and sitting on my hands or I think I would have jumped on him. She was also HIV positive - and on PMTCT. And I really hoped that he was not treating her badly because of that. Who knows. Stigma runs deeply.

They were not all so dramatic. However, it made me wish that my first idea for a project - looking at what happened to a mother-friendly-organization - had worked out. At the end of the day, I didn't care if they used active management - I just cared that they treated these women like the goddesses - or even the humans - that they are.

On another note- the 'expidited' IRB process still hasn't given birth to a letter of approval. Thus, full data collection is still on hold. We are INCHING closer by the day.

So, another day, another story. I'll keep you posted. On the flip side - Zambia is growing on me. It is the perfect weather to run - and the roads are long and dusty.

2 comments:

Gina Longinotti said...

Wow- that is so unbelievably hard. I am thinking about you- and keeping my fingers crossed for IRB approval- pronto. You are a great writer Rosha- keep it coming. When I am in Guyana (soon) I hope your words will be my nightly activity...

Forman said...

I find myself thinking about your running on a long dusty road, under a cloudless sky, with nature and softness and lonely footfalls along the road: all freedom and space. And that butt up against the concrete bed and plastic bags, a metal bar to hold, and some nasty midwife saying shut your mouth and push. And that against the concrete roads of america, with the soft words and soft beds of your role in a hospital.
thanks.
dad